The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
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