I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
