I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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