i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
