Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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