cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
