roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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