my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
