OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
