my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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