fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Randomize
