I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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