I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
