I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
