Small penises have feelings too.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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