HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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