she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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