no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
