I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
