can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
bring money and cleavage
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize