she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
