the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize