no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
if only i could text you this smell
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
