Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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