I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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