hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
