yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
