fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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