I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
