but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
