and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Randomize
