She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
