how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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