He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
