well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
