omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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