Having a random hookup so left but love u
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
He shit in the fireplace
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
