I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
