I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
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