Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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