Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
