Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
