so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
