just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
