You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
