the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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