So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize