You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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