suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I love you. Go after that dick
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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