I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
