halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize