then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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