So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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