normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
