Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
