I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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