OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
