So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
