a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
