Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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