Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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