what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
