I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
No subtext here. People are naked.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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