We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize